There is no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.

-President Dwight Eisenhower-

Kite Chaser

My angel, lift me out from this hell hole.
Take me away...

Message from Sonny

Live without pretending,
Love without depending,
Listen without defending,
Speak without offending,
Give without ending.

DD3 Calling

Wake Me Up

In your slumber I cuddled up to you. I brushed your silky smooth hair and kissed your rosy cheek. You opened your eyes and smiled in return.

"I like how you wake me up. Can I have it every morning?"

"Lay next to me every night and I shall, till the day I die."

The Unspoken

Schoolgirl: Hey...

Schoolboy: Hey you...

Schoolgirl: How are you doing? Are you alright?

Schoolboy: Um...yea. I'm fine.

Schoolgirl: Hey, what's wrong?

Schoolboy: Nothing...really. I'm alright.

Schoolgirl: Is it something I did?

Schoolboy: No. Not you.
Schoolboy: You do know that I care a lot about you right?

Schoolgirl: Yea, I know, but what's going on?

Schoolboy: Everything is fine. I just want you to remember that.

Schoolgirl: You are always keeping things to yourself. I think it's my fault.
Schoolgirl: Sorry.

Schoolboy: No really, it's not your fault.
Schoolboy: I miss you.

Schoolgirl: I miss you too.
Schoolgirl: Hey, I can feel that you are unhappy. Everything will be alright.
Schoolgirl: I am always here. You can always call me ok.

Schoolboy: Ok, I know.

Schoolgirl: *hugs*

When September Ends

4 months and it has been quite a while.
4 months and I am still the same.
4 months and it has not been forgotten.
4 months now and you are not forgotten.

Unconditional

Can two person in love, not be together?

Love is friendship set on fire. Love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.
Perhaps, love is what is in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.

Maybe because love is more, so much more that when two person in love, it just never meant to be together...

Angel H.N

I may not always be there,
But I really do care,
Your heart I shall repair,
For there shall be no tear.

If you need me there,
Please do not despair,
Just tell me where,
I love you I swear.

For There Can Always Be Hope

You can tie me to a rope,
Make me walk a tightrope,
Nothing that I cannot cope,
For there is always hope.

Rabi & In-Between

The Hourglass of Emotion

I count the footsteps of your departure,
I look at your smile from our old picture,
What is it that is in your nature,
I need to know to have some closure.

Tell me what is our future,
For I can no longer bear this torture.

Till I See You Again

Dim yellow lights, in the lounge room with empty chairs and table neatly lined up. Alone, sitting by the table in the corner. A norweign with his mac and coffee in the other. The hot chocolate that I ordered, arrived with a star shaped coaster. A sipped of the foam, brought memories of how it used to be when you made them.

She came over with her iced vanilla, she reminded me a lot of you. She wore a blue strap with skinny jeans. Her fair complexion with her auburn hair and bright brown eyes all made me reminisced of how you used to.

"Hi, how are you doing?". I reciprocated with a smile. She whispered in my ear, "Come up with me".

As she was leaving, she took my hand and lead me upstairs to her room. Inside, she closed the door behind and walked slowly towards me. She looked just like you. How her hair bounced with every footstep and the reflections on her pink glossy lips.

She leaned forward and we kissed. It tasted the same.

Shirt on the floor and arms around me, my mind wondered to the past, back to 1999. There was no doubt. It had to be you. I wrapped my hands around her, kissing her vigorously. Lust took over and we spent a passionate night together.

Next morning, I awoke with rays of sunlight in my eyes. Next to me, a note. It read,"Till I see you again".

Schoolgirl...

Dear schoolgirl,

It has been almost 3 months I am away. Life here is good. Work is not too bad either. Oh, how I wish for you to see the things that are here. The calm and laid back lifestyle. The peaceful tranquility compared to the city. I think you will like it very much here.

Was there a time my mind wondered about you? In this 3 long months have I forgotten you?

My honey, you were always there in my thoughts. 3 months cannot amount to the feelings that I have for you. I am sorry I cannot be there for you when you are down. I hope I am still the one you turn to whenever you are down. My thoughts are always with you. I know somehow, you will always make it through.

I saw some of your pictures, I liked it. I still love your smile. I still remember all the special moments we had, kissing under the moon and holding hands the very first time. When it rains here, I watched the rain drops and all our memories came rushing back.

I shall be back one day. I have plenty to share with you and hope then I will never have to leave you again.

I miss you, you know. Forever and ever.


Eternally yours,
Schoolboy.

Always Be My Baby

Just want you to know, I am thinking of you.

I miss you. I really do...

Splendour Brunei

Brunei Splendour

Last Night of May

With stars in the sky, I watched you sleep. In my arms, I ran my fingers through your hair and gently caressed your neck. I watched as you turned to me, holding me close. Your silky smooth hair flowed elegantly with each blowing breeze. Your porcelain-like skin glowed under the moonlight like sparkles of moon dust.

I heard your every breath. I watched your every gestures.

With the humming of the seas, you awoke with tears in your eyes. I held on to you tightly. With each passing moments, your struggle became tougher. Your breath slowed and your hands weaken.

In the last night of May, in my arms, you reached out for the heavens.

Jon Doe

Whenever you are blue,
My shoulders are yours to lean on to,
When you fall sick with a flu,
Can I come to hand you some tissues?

You may not have a clue,
You may not know I am who,
I stand by you like a statue,
Just to come to your rescue.

You do not need a new hairdo,
You do not need a new pair of shoes,
I love you just as true,
I love you without fuss and issue.

I am just like you,
I am not your Andrew,
And if you see right through,
I cry when he hurt you too.

Beautiful Release

If we have never met, then I would never felt your grace and innocence.
If we ever meet, then I shall shower you with eternal joy and bliss.

Let the world proclaim you are my Son, and the heir to my throne.

Cradle of Time

After hours, days, and weeks, the feeling grows stronger, and in your loving arms, I surrender myself to you.

Mandy

Please do not go, please do not say no,
I miss your hello, I miss your glow,
Short time we know, so much more to follow,
Tears will flow and the sky will be sorrow.

I hope you know, I hope you show,
Look at the photo and write me a memo,
I may be slow, do not leave me in limbo,
I can be your pillow, let me be your hero.

The Burning Sky

Keychain of Remembrance

"28th June 2008" - You mean everything to me

Honey

Late in the evening, puffing my Dunhill menthol. I put one out, lighting another. "Not too many", you said, grabbing my hand. I obliged, keeping the unlit cig.

Back in the room, a bottle of whiskey with two glasses. We cheers and drank our style of whiskey. Mine, neat and dry. Yours, on the rocks. A little unusual, we never drank together in the past. Least not liquor.

Couple of shots downed, you danced to the slow ballad aired. Moving your curves delicately, your hair swung side to side. I watched, impressed, as you carefully revealed your small waist with a heart shaped tattoo.

Couple more shots, you had had enough. Intoxicated, you pulled me up and gave me a soft hug. I felt your perfectly rounded bosom on my chest. Pulling me closer, you put your arms around my neck. With your lips around my ear, you bit my earlobe and gently put your tongue in my ear. It sent tingles all over.

As you unbutton my shirt, I leaned in and kissed you vigorously. With pleasure, you played your teasing game, removing your pieces slowly.

You laid on the bed and I watched you moaned in pleasure as I ran my hands over your body. As I lay down, you got on top of me and we made love the entire night.

The next morning, with my arms around you, I woke you up with a soft hug and a kiss on your blushed cheek. You looked into my eyes and smiled pleasingly. I leaned closer nibbling your ears and whispered,"honey".

大风大雨

请别忘了我们曾经走过的风风雨雨。

我等你。。。

Where Art Thou?

There is no one here and all the shops are closed. I reached out my hand for you to hold but you were not around. I could not see you, I could not hear you. I looked everywhere and searched for you. To find my sanctuary, to find my missionary.

O my angel of grace, where art thou?

因为你

在我最黑暗脆弱的时刻，我只想抱紧你。
在我最孤单无助的时刻，我只相信你。

全都是因为你。

Sunset in the East

A New Beginning

To those who were around me, I adore, admire and am grateful to have you in my life.

A new life, a new beginning...

View of Eternal Bliss

The view from my room:

To the beach:

Loneliness Shreds My Heart

O my angel, take me away from here.
Grant me eternal companion at your side.

Shield me in your wings of valor. Take me away...

I Close My Eyes

If you miss me, close your eyes, Think of me, for I am only a heart beat away. When your eyes are close, I shall be near. Time will pass and it will not be long until you see me again.

When I miss you, I close my eyes. I listen to our songs and reminiscence the times we had together. Holding you, kissing you, loving you. For I know, I shall see you again soon.

I miss you, and I probably never say this enough, "I love you".

Down Memory Lane

When I laugh, you laughed together with me.
When I walk, you walked along with me.
When I cry, you wipe my eyes dry.
When I talk, you spend hours listening to me.

When I fell down, you brought me back up again.
When I was in doubt, you always gave me strength.
When I felt alone, you held on to my hand.
When I was in need, you always supported me.

Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you for being there. Yesterday, today, and always.

Time To Fly

Time to fly, time to cry.
Let me die, before you say your goodbyes.
Dry your eyes, for I am flying high.
I know it is not nearby, I shall probably see you in July.

I am glad I said 'hi', I am glad I try.
Do not ask me why, I do not want to lie.
I am gonna hit the sky, please do not sigh.
In me you can rely, in me you can not deny.

I am like Popeye, not like a rabbi.
Piece of chocolate pie, and I will be your ally.
Yellow ribbon please do tie,
For when I return, I know you will be all mine.

Unforgettable

你是如此的难以忘记, 浮浮沉沉的在我心里。

Suffer In Silence

Let the world pass their judgments.
For the first time, I shall give in.

Let me suffer in silence...

A Night To Remember

8 pm: I came and picked you up. When you walk into my car, you looked beautiful. More so than ever. Instantly, the car was filled with your scent. It was euphoric.

As we head on our journey, you smiled a lot constantly looking over my direction. I looked at you briefly and you quickly turned away. I asked what was on your mind and you replied hesitantly, "nothing".

9 pm: We arrived at our destination. Surrounded by a crowd, we talked, drank and laughed a lot. Although a little awkward at first, things start to get more comfortable with time.

11 pm: As the crowd shrunk, it became more quiet. We sat a while, making small talks and not too long later, we left the reception.

On the way back, you decided to head to a quiet place just the two of us. You opted for a place nearby with soft music and dimly litted ambience.

12 am: We ordered a couple of drinks each. As you sat next to me, I saw the sparkle in your eyes of which I would never comprehend. That moment, we talked about the moon, the stars and the universe.

2 am: I felt a little light headed and tipsy. You suggested a walk would do both of us good. As we walked side by side, your hand brushed against mine. Our fingers trickled and I held on to your hand.

Hand in hand, you lead me to a nearby garden. We sat down on the park bench and you giggled when I rub my sweaty palms together. You sensed I was feeling anxious.

3 am: You sat close to me, I could smell the scent of shampoo on your hair and the tone of perfume around your neck.

You leaned closer, putting your head on my shoulder. I kissed your forehead and gave you a soft hug. "I am cold", you said. I wrapped my arms around you rubbing your skin to give you warmth. Looking up at me, you put your hand on my face. I lifted your chin and leaned in towards you.

4 am: We kissed for the very first time.

远走高飞

是远走。。。 可是，要怎样才能的高飞？

有心就可以飞？

要飞去那里？ 要飞多远了？

Schoolgirl

Dear schoolgirl,

Do not be unhappy, I am here for you and will always do my best to be with you.

I enjoy the time when we are together. When you are not around, I think about you all the time. I wish for you to be happy and I hope, I can always be the one to make you feel better when you are down.

Perhaps I am already falling deeper into you.

I am sorry I have to go away and I only wish this few moments I can make you smile. When you are with me, I feel happy holding you, hugging you, taking care of you, all because you are my one and only school girl.

If fate allows, I hope you can be there with me.

Be happy when I am not around. If you feel down, think of me, knowing you are always in my mind.

I will think of you too. I will remember all the special moments we had and will treasure it keeping it close to my heart.

Maybe in the future when our paths do cross again, we can be together. Even if we do not, you will never be forgotten. Forever and ever.

Missing you already,
Schoolboy.

曾经拥有

如果你还是没法相信。。。真的没关系，我会安静的离去。

I Dreamt of You

Last night, never in my wildest dreams had you appear to me as radiant as you are. In the crowded room you stood out like no other. Your rose-red velvet dress that hugged your body revealed your voluptuous figure. I had my sights all on you, so did many others.

Mesmerized by your grace and glow, you walked slowly towards me. With your gentle steps and your flowing long hair, your body spoke of confidence and your eyes embracing me with your stare.

Many came to you along the way, but you did not take notice. You held out your hand to me and we embrace each other like there was no tomorrow. I held on to you tightly, feeling your body next to mine. The scent of you filled me with ecstasy leaving all my miseries behind.

I whispered words in your ear, and watched you giggle with your angelic smile. Your lips were luscious with a soft pink gloss. You gave me a soft peck on mine, your arms around my neck. I tasted your lips, it was sweet as honey.

"Let's go somewhere quiet", you whispered. You blew a soft puff of air in my ear, your little way of commanding me. As you took my hand and lead me beside the pool, we pulled away from the busy crowd. The music became softer and under the moonlight, you put your arms around me and we danced till dawn broke.

Dear Jon

8th May 2008:
JonJon, is that the way I want to call you now? I am not sure.

When did I first know you? I am not sure too.

All I know is that you are the best guy I have ever met. You are always there for me no matter what, where or when. You said, you liked me since I was having brown curly hair. That was quite a while ago and I did not know about it until tonight. I feel so stupid.

How can I not notice you when you actually do care about me so much? You have been there for so long and I was just treating you as a good friend. I should have told you earlier I like you too.

I did not.

Why, Wendi why? Perhaps it was because I knew both of us have our own relationships. I was afraid I will ruin everything plus I was not sure how much you like me. Oh, silly me.

Dear JonJon, I am really glad I found you now.

One Last Time

The door opened with you behind me. The silence between us had gone on long enough, but yet at this moment, speech is overrated.

From behind you held my hand, signalling me to take the lead. I reciprocated, squeezing your hand tightly reassuring you in return. I held your hands many times before. Yet, somehow this final time it was different. Your hand felt cold.

We reached home.

I sat on the couch. Releasing the grip of my tie I breathed a sigh. I heard your cries as you rushed upstairs.

I came up to you with the bottle in my hand. Your cries grew louder as you sat on the floor with your head on the bed.

As I sat next to you on the bed, you lifted your head up, tears flowing from your eyes. I opened the bottle and took it all in. You put your head on my thigh and I felt your warm tears.

I slipped into unconciousness and laid still on the bed. Your arms held on to my body as you opened another. You whispered in my ear, 'for one last time'...

Oh, Drama Queen

Give me time, give me space,
Give me an eye to the wonders of this face.

Sorry, I apologize. I have never felt like this before. I... was just too frustrated.

Stop the nausea, stop the drama,
Stop all the pretense that made you a diva.

I cannot fathom what made me this way. Right now, I cannot take it anymore.

Love can slack, love can crack.
Oh, how I wish you can change your act.

Please forgive me, I know it is all for the better. You and me.

Less serene, more gangrene.
You play the same old routine oh, my drama queen.

Solitary

Even with so many people around I still feel lonely sometimes.
In the middle of the night, I look for you and found solace in the stillness and darkness of night.

Take me away...

I Take

Hello darling, happy birthday.

I decided not to give you a present this year, infact I think it is time I take some things away.

I like to take away the suspicion that I know clouds your world at times. By giving you some faith to hold on to honey, whenever your hand is not in mine.

Happy birthday darling. I have no presents nor fancy cakes. But I hope I make you happy with everything I take.

I like to take away some of your lonely moments by spending more of mine with you.

I like to take away some of those so-so kisses and replace them with ones that truly say, I love you.

And I want to take the doubts you sometimes have about my love, by showing it more, much more than I had shown before.

Then if someone should ask what I got for your birthday, well you can say, he did not give me anything, but he sure took alot of things away.

The Great Escape

In a small town there I was. With limited communications and connections. I was trapped and I had to find my emancipation.

In the early hours of morning, the 'Great Escape' was inaugurated. I needed money, and fast. Away from watchful eyes, I committed an offense on the 8th commandment. Same morning, when dawn broke, I booked my one way route to freedom. But I needed to be patient, my time has not come.

The following days, I was interrogated and threatened. I denied all allegations made against me.

When the 3rd day came, I saw my calling. It was now or never. The night before I did not sleep. It had to be perfect. With the rise of the sun, I set out and disguised my way to the port. I was in full alert, constantly looking over my shoulders.

As I got onto my sail of freedom, I breathed a sigh of relief. There was no looking back now.

Schoolboy

School boy all over again.
Everyday waiting just to catch a glimpse of you.

When I am around you, I feel like I am going back in time.
When I am around you, I feel like a school boy having a crush on you.
When I am around you, I feel your warm embrace.
When I am around you, and hear you laugh, I feel fortunate to be near you.

Without you,
A day feels like a year,
Weekends seem like eternity.

Sometimes, I want to hold your hands.
Sometimes, I want to share my lunch with you.

Let me walk you home,
Let me carry your books,
Let me hold your hands,
Let me, just let me, be near you.

Tainted Love

In the quiet hallway I knelt. On my knees, I held on to you. I plead you to stay. Tears from my eyes soaked into your favourite baby blue tee. The scent of your Calvin Klein perfume lingered as I tried to inhale it with my blocked nostril. I kissed your pierced belly and knew this would be the final time.

As you turned and said goodbye, you brushed my hair with your delicate fingers that once given me so much comfort and care. I watched helplessly, my body weakened. On all fours, I heard your every departing footsteps. It went softer and slowly, it became none.

I picked myself up, dusting my knees and hands. I looked out the window and watched as you embraced him. You gave him the once sweet smile that used to be mine.

My heart felt like it was ripped apart. It hurt badly.

When you hopped into his car and ride into the darkness, nothing in the world could amount to such pain.

This is the confession of a tainted love.

Just a test. Testing...